i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize