Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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