omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize