There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
