Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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