I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.