bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son