TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
