Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
