Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
