How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
NoShamevember. You game?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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