dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize