I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
