Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
