Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
