I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
