I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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