So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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