Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
