I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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