Pants 0. Shit 1.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
