I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
