ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
