Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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