Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Couch. On fire.
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