apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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