**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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