Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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