I want to have your abortion
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
