you guys were way drunker than both of me
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
i believe in u and ur pee
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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