Sponge bath it is.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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