His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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