Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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