I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
