I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
