is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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