I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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