you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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