glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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