College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
