he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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