I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
