I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
