lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
