My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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