I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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