I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
