so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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