You surviving the open bar?
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I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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