My liver just broke up with me...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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