Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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