that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
