you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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