If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"