just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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