I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's like iHOP with fire
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
