some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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