i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
